Ok, so I know many of the people reading this are going to judge me and HATE me and I'm sorry for offending you, but I am only on here to look for guidance and advice.
I am a 40 year-old married white male who has been married to my wife for 12 years (together for 16) and have always been faithful to her but circumstances have forced me to look for a woman on the side. When I first met my wife, she had a voracious appetite for sex and since my drive was also strong we had an amazing sex life right from the beginning of our relationship.
Over the course of our marriage, I've seen her interest in sex decline gradually to the point where she doesn't even have an interest anymore.
I've even gone so far as to ask my wife for an "open" marriage but she said "no way".
Although my frustration with this situation has been getting greater and greater, I still have decided to stay in the marriage (at least for now) because I love my wife and believe that marriage is meant to be a life-long commitment.
And except for the sexual incompatibility, our marriage is otherwise good.
I also make sure that I share equally with the household chores and cleaning.
I am still very much physically attracted to my wife and I tell her that I think she's beautiful and sexy quite frequently.
But in spite of all these efforts, when I try to initiate sex, my wife participates through the foreplay and then tells me that she just doesn't feel like having sex or is too tired.
She still enjoys kissing and receiving massages from me but that's as far as it goes.
My wife still tells me she finds me physically attractive and I exercise regularly to keep fit and stay attractive to her so I know that my appearance isn't the issue.
We've had many discussions about this subject and my wife knows how frustrated I have become but she tells me she just no longer has the interest in sex that she once had.
I'm very honest and open with my communication with her and I've told her many, many times how the loss of her sex drive has made me feel.
My wife has talked to her doctor about this problem and has tried many different anti-depressant medicines but none of them have helped and several of them have even made the problem worse.