Towards the end of my writing and editing I got lucky, or one might call it fate.
I met a really "good guy" and he agreed to be interviewed (or interrogated, depending on who you talk to) on the subject of what a girl should be looking for in a guy when it comes to dating.
My subject was JK Schaffer, a former linebacker for the Cincinnati Bengals. A good guy cares about his appearance, and yes, even in high school.
Girl and boys are maturing quickly during these years and in today's media driven society, the art of dating has changed dramatically, leaving the art of courtship out of the equation.
Go ahead, call me old fashion, but I truly love the idea of being courted.
Often times I have thought maybe I should have lived back in the day when this was the norm.
Advanced technology and the use of smartphones allows us to communicate without actually speaking which brings dating to a new paradigm for the teens of today. With all these obstacles how in the world can a girl really tell if he's a good guy? there's no sipping sweet tea on a front porch swing having a face-to-face conversation with the boy she thinks is cute.
Phone numbers are passed around in high school as often as footballs are passed on the field, and requires little to no verbal communication. No, unfortunately this would seem lame to a large percentage of teens.
A quick friend request on Facebook and BOOM, there's an instant connection, and now all one has to do is send that first text or direct message. The poor guy must text his crush carefully, leaving no gaps in the true meaning of his words. ' A million thoughts can go through a young girl's mind causing her to over-think every word that appears before her. My high school dating years were much like any other teen girl; they were plagued with frogs. I continued to ask myself the familiar question girls ask themselves when things don't work out. There was nothing wrong with me, I just needed to learn how to connect with boys who shared my morals and values. Many girls turn to boys for validation and self-worth.
The poor girl has no visual or sound that goes with the words that have popped up on her screen leaving her with possible questions like, 'What did he mean? This lack of confidence can lead to verbal abuse, manipulation and physical violence.
Girls get so caught up in keeping a boyfriend that they turn a blind eye to the subtle wave of control and begin making excuses for their prince's behavior. Teen girls might be surprised to see these statistics from the Love is Respect Organization.
As I entered college I realized I needed to use my voice, get to know who that boy I thought was cute really was, his morals, values and most of all his intentions.
I also learned that this takes time, a valuable lesson every girl must understand.
I wanted girls to know that they didn't have to settle or change themselves for a boy despite the tough social pressures so I decided to write a book that would give girls a peer perspective topped with a few lessons learned the hard way.