But just like those online dating commercials assure, yes, yes there is one out there that is right for you!
Popular culture gives us a laugh and erodes our common sense. Wonderful to sit down with but we all know it’s never going to give us any nourishment. Yet decisive relationships are never free from injury or pain. – Clint Eastwood But that’s what life is meant to be, a risk.
Thoughtful relationships can hurt us deeply whether they are investments into the lives of people, career, or dreams. We have witnessed too much brokenness and bitterness a la the freak show that is now reality TV. Because if you hang on to your life, your hopes and every little dream, they will turn to dust.
Trying to find an all-natural deodorant that really works is a little like trying to find your soul-mate online: you spend quite a bit of time and money, have a number of nay-sayers who question the value, and after a few fails are left wondering if there really is one out there that’s right for you.
A recent article in the NY Times summarizes some very important research about marriage.
The findings are from the National Marriage Project report.
One key finding that Times columnist Tara Parker-Pope wrote about was: Apparently when couples treat their relationships as a big deal, when they decide to get married and go through with all the formalities, when they invest time, emotions and even wealth into their commitment to one another – their relationship tends to flourish. Don’t you love it when science confirms common sense?
What we invest ourselves into ultimately grows in value.
It reminds me of one those online dating commercials.
The guy asks this woman how she goes about finding someone to date and she gets this confused look on her face and says, “well, I just bump into people.” Or something like that. Rather than clinging together when the storms come, spontaneous lovers are always looking over their should to be certain the other person hasn’t jumped out of the lifeboat. All stigma have been removed from sexual promiscuity.
Casual relationships don’t produce lasting families or fertile habitations in which to nurture children. Our culture now values casual sex as a way to appease our appetites. (I’m not even sure that it’s possible to be promiscuous anymore, regardless of how you behave.) There are no more sexual deviants in our popular culture.
But we have always had deeper needs for relationship, commitment, and security.